"this is only the beginning..."
maybe this is a start, anyway
The first time I saw Dune, I was very annoyed at the ending when Zendaya/Chani was like “This is only the beginning :;))))))))).” Because I was like GOD that is so CLICHÉ we KNOW this is only the BEGINNING there’s like SIX books and there’s DEF gonna be another MOVIE and now I keep thinking abt that quote because I’m like ok wait… She’s so right this is only the beginning……
In the last two weeks it seems as though my life as I know it has blasted off into the sun, so I thought, time to start a Substack. And then I thought, I’ve never had a thought in my life. This is why I stopped using Twitter like 2 years ago because I was like thoughts? Are we still doing those? I thought capitalism had rendered them pointless unless part of a DoorDash ad. Well, since my company went bankrupt and I have to move out and my parents are getting divorced, I figured, I’ll give it a shot.
During my time being dragged face down behind a moving vehicle by this concept known as our existence on earth, I have been meditating upon some of life’s biggest philosophical questions, denoted forthwith:
Why do I find myself putting my name on a waitlist to buy underwear? Does everything need to be an exclusive drop, or can I know peace?
Might I suggest we have given ourselves too many choices in life? Why do I need to choose between 87 shades of jeans? I can’t tell the difference between shade “Siesta” and “Pinnacle” and frankly, I’m frightened.
What’s the deal with grass?
If I spend a year reading and generally falling under the umbrella of “studious,” nay, “scholarly,” the next time I go to the eye doctor I’m told my eyes suck and got worse. But if I am thoughtless and stare at birds and do sports, my eyesight is unchanged, steadfast, even. So what I’m saying is ignorance is for sure bliss, and I wanna do more of that, I think, if that’s cool…….
“Happiness is being excited about the future.” That is a quote from a movie or a show I watched at some point in life that I can’t remember, but I think about always (Orange is the New Black?), and I think they were wrong. Because the future is fake, due to it not having happened yet, and the present is now, and if you’re not happy in your present, and you’re just making stuff up about your future that you hope is accurate, but fear isn’t, what then? (The answer is sipping white wine starting at 2:46pm on weekdays, and starting a Substack, I guess, for now). I see my future as Michael Cera’s. He is like a movie star but he has no social media and he has a Jurassic flip phone. I think this is beautiful. He lives near me and one morning he was walking down my block with his child strapped to his chest. I want to be Michael Cera. Now the only question is how, when, why, where, whomst, and what and also please, dear god.
I’m writing/starring in a short film called DEUCE PURGATORY produced by Wax&Wane and Andrew Hunter and me and directed by Sydney Adams and we are shooting in September. I’m very excited because it has been a long journey full of “learning” and unfortunately “growing” and everyone is so good and cool and if you care you can follow her journey @deucepurgatory.
Maybe this is a start, anyway. That’s what I would’ve said if it were me at the end of Dune.